Dad’s I Just Can’t With

As a parent, you are always around other kids and more specifically other parents. Yes, it’s more common to know the kids better than the parents, due to seeing them more often at drop-off and pick-up, but you do get to know the other parents a bit. In my observation, daycare is more of a mom ran thing. By this I mean moms drops off and picks up, but dad occasionally fills in. In my personal parenting life, this situation is a bit different, as my husband and I try and share the responsibility as equally as possible. However…what I have come to realize is that my husband is of a limited breed. Some of the dads I’ve interacted with…I just can’t! I try to can…but I just can’t. Let me enlighten you on the Dad’s I Just Can’t With.

  • The Oblivious Dad: This is the dad that literally knows nothing about what’s going on with his kid. Every time he hears something pertaining to what his child either needs or is doing…he’s surprised. You tell him that his baby needs diapers, and he makes a ūüėģ (shocked) face, as though he never even thought about his child needing something so obvious. This is also the dad that forgets all the kid’s stuff…all the time. Like how in the hell do u leave the house without the diaper bag? Come on dude get it together…no one is that clueless so quit playing.
  • The Over Masculine Dad: Ever known/met one of those dad’s who constantly makes it a point to show their masculinity? If your trying to figure it out here’s an example. He’s always wearing something athletic (not for his job) and mentioning how “tough” he is/was in comparison to his child. Ummmm…WE DON’T F*CKING CARE!!!! This isn’t a competition, and frankly, if you’re trying to measure your d*ck in comparison to mine…you lost! I’m a woman and giving birth makes me tougher than you…get over it and yourself!
  • The “Career” Dad: Women work too ya twatball!!!! You are not impressive because you drive a flashy car (that’s always clean because you barely have your kid in it) or wear fancy clothes. I don’t give a sh*t about how crazy your day was and how you forgot something regarding your child because of said day. My damn day was busy too, and so was your kid’s moms! You’re not f*ckin special!!!
  • The Misogynist Dad: Don’t make me f*ckin throat punch you! This is the dad who blames all the issues his kid has on what mom “isn’t doing” or “hasn’t done.” He’s also the dad that tells you stuff like “ask your husband,” when trying to get answers or interacting with you in general. Oh and not to mention he thinks he knows it all. *insert eye roll here* Well listen up you limpd*ck sack of noodles…your lady/wife/baby mama is a SAINT for dealing with you, and you should kiss the ground she walks on. You don’t know up from down let alone how to raise or care for a child…because you are far too busy THINKING your superior to womankind in general. How about you shut your mouth and be thankful that a fellow woman warrior birthed your pathetic misogynist ass. Chump!!!
  • The Over-Parenting Dad: Dude! You are not the first person to have a kid. Other people do know things. You don’t have to do everything based on a book or a doctor. A LOT of the things that parents, before you have said, DOES work, and WON’T harm your kid. Calm your tits love. Your kid is gonna be ok if you make a mistake or 2…million lol.

Well, that’s the not so short, short list of Dad’s I Just Can’t With. I’m sure I may add to this list on the future…but for now om good with this. Any dad type you wanna add? Have a comment about one of the ones I listed? Feel free to leave it in the comments below.

*Huggies & Hi-Fives*

How Do They Do It?

So if it isn’t¬†obvious yet, I suck at posting on my blog! I just get too busy at work and at home to actually have time to sit down and write, and currently, I am 35 weeks preggo with baby¬†#2. (It’s a girl!) I truly believe that there aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do things for me, and when I do have that coveted me time…I end up doing something else that I put off. ¬†Due to this, it has me wondering some things. Not just about blogging moms…but about moms in general. Have you ever really sat back and thought about how a mom manages to do everything in a day? Well, I have and let me share my most likely familiar day (if you have little humans) with you.

6am to 8am To-Do List: 

  • Be unceremoniously¬†woken up by my son
  • Make sure he goes potty
  • Get out of bed and pick my clothes
  • Groom me¬†and get dressed
  • Do my makeup
  • Hubs gets Bubs ready for school (so that’s¬†one less thing on my list)
  • Walk around after hubs and bubs turning off all lights and electronics used during the morning routine (how many damn lights does one need to use broad freakin¬†daylight??!?!?!)
  • Go downstairs and eat a quick breakfast
  • Put together a lunch for me
  • Make sure Bubs gets daily vitamins and¬†allergy meds
  • Get son to STOP playing with toys or daddy and leave the¬†house by 7:20am
  • Drive 10-15 minutes away and drop off son
  • Spend 10 minutes at daycare saying bye to son (Why can’t u just let mommy sign-in and leave? I don’t have to wait for your little¬†routine to say bye…oh wait…I DO!)
  • Drive 10 FREEWAY minutes to work in the hopes that everyone has put on their good and courteous¬†driver hats so I don’t feel like I’m driving in a Nascar Demolition Derby Monster Jam hybrid…just to get to my f*cking job.

8(ish) am to 1pm To-Do List:

  • Work until 12pm
    • Pray there is no family or daycare emergency that I have to go take care of
  • Somehow manage to eat lunch and run miscellaneous errands, for my family, during lunch
    • This isn’t every day…but its definitely a frequent occurrence. I mean when else am I gonna have time to run errands alone so they get done quickly?
  • Get back to work within the allotted hour of my lunchtime, to finish my workday

5pm to 8:30pm To-Do List:

  • Leave work to pick up son from daycare and Tuesday and Thursday, and some Fridays,
    • My husband and I split pickup days to make it “fair,” but if he has a work or football related meeting/event I end up picking the little up.
  • Fight traffic to make it across town before 5:30, bc that, is when daycare closes.
    • I¬†ain’t trying to pay late fees
  • Spend a few minutes talking with daycare provider about sons day, and figuring out the things my husband forgot to tell me on his pickup days
    • My husband NEVER asks how our sons day was, and when he is told things pertaining to daycare happenings, somehow forgets to tell me. It’s like having an extra kid sometimes because¬†I have to go behind him and fact check/double check sh*t all the time. But I love him.
  • Drive 10-15 minutes home
  • Get Bubs out of the car and into the house
  • Immediately have Bubs use the bathroom and start making his afternoon snack
  • Serve him his afternoon snack
  • Go upstairs and wash face and put up hair
  • Come back downstairs and start dinner
    • This is on days where I get Bubs because my Hubs won’t be home until 830/9pm
  • Feed son dinner
  • Clean up sons dinner
  • Have son clean up toys
  • Give son bath and brush teeth
  • Put son in bed and say prayers

9pm to 11pm To-Do List:

  • Go back downstairs and eat my dinner with Hubs, who is now home
  • Relax for a few after eating dinner
    • Aka spend time with Hubs
  • Go upstairs and shower and do nighttime car routine
  • Get in bed
  • Possibly have some adult time
    • SEX….I mean SEX lol
  • Go to sleep

11:30pm to 12am To-Do list:

  • Wake up and turn off lights and TV left on by Hubs
  • Go back to sleep

So you see…being a mom and a wife literally leaves me NO F*CKING TIME to do anything. I spend all day doing and going for others, and the only time I get to myself is either HELLA early, or HELLA late. So this brings up the question…HOW THE F*CK DO WE MOMS DO IT? Honestly, I don’t know the answer. I’m thinking that once you have kids you get some freak ass mom gene that allows u to bend time to your advantage…but only juuuuuust enough to get by. Damn, we are miracle workers.

What is your mom day like? Is it as jam-packed and crazy as mine? Feel free to leave it, or anything else you’d like in the comments below.


*Huggies & Hi-Fives*

Mommy Judgement

Recently I had a¬†conversation with my friend about a mom she had seen at a store, and it got me thinking. Long story short…there was a mom at a department store with 3 kids, all under the age of 8, and appeared to be high or drunk. My homegirl said that the woman was just letting her kids run a muck and was just buying things that appeared to be nice wihtout trying them on. Now I am sure that what I am about to say is going to rub some people the wrong way, but it is what it is. My opinions are just that…MINE…and you do NOT have to agree with them. Now back to my thoughts.

Anyone on the outside looking in at this mom would most likely think that she is a horrible parent. Well, this may or may not be true, but now that I am a mom I have a completely different¬†perspective on this matter. When I was listening to my homegirl describe the woman in question….all I envisioned was a tried as f*ck mom that had had enough! She should not be judged for taking a lil¬†sip or two, or getting a lil high if she is dealing with 3lilttle humans all day every day. She deserves that escape damnit! I am sure that there are more moms than me who wished we could get high or drunk (whichever is your preference) just to pretend like we are young and in college again with only class and a phone bill as our responsibilities.¬†

Having to be responsible all day every day is f*cking exhausting. You would be weird as hell, or an alien from planet wtf, to NOT get tired of adulting and momming from time to time. However, in today’s society, mom’s get judged for being just that…TIRED. Have you ever noticed that when a man needs a “break” from parenting and goes out with the guys for drinks and shenanigans it is ok…but when mommy does it, we are being reckless? That is such bullsh*t to me. It is obviously a double standard, even if the guy is a single dad. ¬†With this double standard comes the moms like the one described earlier. She has no individual escape because she is always with her kids. Now by no means does she not love her kids…but there are times when all moms don’t like their kids and need a break. It’s the way life works….you don’t always have to like the ones you love.¬†

So basically what I am getting around to is stop judging moms for being tired! You don;t know what kind of sh*t he has had to put up with, or for how long she has been putting up with it. If she is high in a store with her kids (assuming she did not drive there), or having a drink or two while her kid play…let her live! We moms deserve our escapes, and can’t always get them sans kiddos. We gotta do what we gotta do to keep ourselves sane. As long as the kiddos aren’t being endangered in ANY WAY…I say it’s ok to have your moment. Don’t let anyone and their ideas of what a mom should and shouldn’t do stop you from having a moment to yourself. You deserve it girl!

What do you think of this post? do you agree or disagree? is there anything you want to add to it? Let me know in the comments below.