Below you will find a list of some of the ailments I have as a working wife and mom. I’m sure some of you other mamas, and maybe some dads, have these too. Enjoy.
- Zombieidis: This is when you are so tired and physically exhausted, but somehow manage to still be alive and functioning. Many moms experience this when at work or at the store. If you’ve aver asked yourself “how the f*ck did I get here” or “what the hell was I doing again?,” you have suffered from Zombieidis.
- Cleanupitis: We’ve all been there before. When you’ve cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned again but somehow the house is still a mess. I know your probably thinking this has something to do with obsessively cleaning…and you would be wrong. Cleanupitis is when you are so f*cking fed up with cleaning…that you completely stop giving a sh*t what your house looks like. It is a chronic disease which can lead to fights, tears, sadness, and the potential arson investigation…as you would rather burn down your house then pick up after one more f*cking person.
- Cuisineaphobia: Do you really have to eat to survive? Better yet do you really have to cook your own food every night to survive. Sadly…you do, esp if you don’t want to go broke eating out. Cuisineaphobia is the fear of having to figure out what to cook…every time you cook. It is hard enough having to stand in front of the stove to cook, but add that to having to clean, work, and still suffering from zombieidis…you my dear are in a horrible situation. You will most likely end up making spaghetti, tacos, or telling everyone in your house that you’re not feeling well and go to bed hungry.
- Travelphobia: Why do I have to pack so much sh*t to make one trip? Do I really even need all this? Yes, I need all this “just in case.” This is a conversation every parent and woman has had with themselves when it comes time to travel. You get so paranoid that you’re going to leave something that you MAY need, that you leave something that you DO need. Don’t believe me…think about your last trip. You had everything you THOUGHT you needed and forgot one of these items:
- Toothbrush, Toothpaste, Deodorant, Razor, or Soap (I know I’m right and that it’s happened to you at least once lol)
There will be more Ailments coming in future posts. Stay tuned…and feel free to comment, like, or share.