Dad’s I Just Can’t With

As a parent, you are always around other kids and more specifically other parents. Yes, it’s more common to know the kids better than the parents, due to seeing them more often at drop-off and pick-up, but you do get to know the other parents a bit. In my observation, daycare is more of a mom ran thing. By this I mean moms drops off and picks up, but dad occasionally fills in. In my personal parenting life, this situation is a bit different, as my husband and I try and share the responsibility as equally as possible. However…what I have come to realize is that my husband is of a limited breed. Some of the dads I’ve interacted with…I just can’t! I try to can…but I just can’t. Let me enlighten you on the Dad’s I Just Can’t With.

  • The Oblivious Dad: This is the dad that literally knows nothing about what’s going on with his kid. Every time he hears something pertaining to what his child either needs or is doing…he’s surprised. You tell him that his baby needs diapers, and he makes a 😮 (shocked) face, as though he never even thought about his child needing something so obvious. This is also the dad that forgets all the kid’s stuff…all the time. Like how in the hell do u leave the house without the diaper bag? Come on dude get it together…no one is that clueless so quit playing.
  • The Over Masculine Dad: Ever known/met one of those dad’s who constantly makes it a point to show their masculinity? If your trying to figure it out here’s an example. He’s always wearing something athletic (not for his job) and mentioning how “tough” he is/was in comparison to his child. Ummmm…WE DON’T F*CKING CARE!!!! This isn’t a competition, and frankly, if you’re trying to measure your d*ck in comparison to mine…you lost! I’m a woman and giving birth makes me tougher than you…get over it and yourself!
  • The “Career” Dad: Women work too ya twatball!!!! You are not impressive because you drive a flashy car (that’s always clean because you barely have your kid in it) or wear fancy clothes. I don’t give a sh*t about how crazy your day was and how you forgot something regarding your child because of said day. My damn day was busy too, and so was your kid’s moms! You’re not f*ckin special!!!
  • The Misogynist Dad: Don’t make me f*ckin throat punch you! This is the dad who blames all the issues his kid has on what mom “isn’t doing” or “hasn’t done.” He’s also the dad that tells you stuff like “ask your husband,” when trying to get answers or interacting with you in general. Oh and not to mention he thinks he knows it all. *insert eye roll here* Well listen up you limpd*ck sack of noodles…your lady/wife/baby mama is a SAINT for dealing with you, and you should kiss the ground she walks on. You don’t know up from down let alone how to raise or care for a child…because you are far too busy THINKING your superior to womankind in general. How about you shut your mouth and be thankful that a fellow woman warrior birthed your pathetic misogynist ass. Chump!!!
  • The Over-Parenting Dad: Dude! You are not the first person to have a kid. Other people do know things. You don’t have to do everything based on a book or a doctor. A LOT of the things that parents, before you have said, DOES work, and WON’T harm your kid. Calm your tits love. Your kid is gonna be ok if you make a mistake or 2…million lol.

Well, that’s the not so short, short list of Dad’s I Just Can’t With. I’m sure I may add to this list on the future…but for now om good with this. Any dad type you wanna add? Have a comment about one of the ones I listed? Feel free to leave it in the comments below.

*Huggies & Hi-Fives*

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