Mommy “Bad Words”

My son is now 2 years old, and has a full-blown personality. I love how smart and verbal he is (he can now make 6 word sentences and JUST turned 2 on the 7th of this month), but sometimes the verbal side has me ready to pounce on my own baby. And if you think that last statement is crazy or inappropriate…then this isn’t the blog for you. Any good parent knows that sometimes you contemplate crazy sh*t regarding your kids, and that although you love them…you don’t always like them lol. But back to the topic at hand. There are some words that I have come to consider “bad  words.”  Keep in mind that they are normal, everyday words, but I swear sometimes when my son says them it feels like a curse word. LOL. Here is a list of my Mommy “Bad Words,” and my mental translation of them lol.

  • “NO!”: When my son says no with a certain tone and volume in his voice I don’t hear “on.” What I hear is “f*ck no!” This word is only ok when whispered or whined.
  • “WHY?!”: I hate being questioned by adults, so having a little human do it is sometimes so irritating. Especially when they say it with an attitude. With that attitude “why” sounds like “why…don’t you just do it.” Don’t get rude little boy.
  • “PLEASE!” (after being said for the 10th time in a row): I love that my kid has manners, and I demand he uses them, but after I have said no, and he keeps saying please…I’m over it. It goes from sounding like please to “just let me f*cking do it/give it to me already.” Please is only cute for so long.
  • “DORY/MATER?”: These are 2 of my sons favorite movies. We have watched them on repeat so many times that I could die happy without ever hearing another line from them. However when he utters these two names…I feel like he’s telling me “it’s time for me to get on your nerves mommy.” Not cool little baby…not cool.
  • “EAT, EAT!”: I feed my kid. I promise I do. But you would think that he never eats the way he acts sometimes. He is a 30lb 2-year-old, so obviously I’m doing something right. But when he gets hungry “eat, eat” tends to sound like “hurry up and feed me damnit!” Little pushy punk.
  • Boob Boo”: This one is self-explanatory. How dare you sh*t yourself and then calmly come to me like I am the designated pooper scooper. It’s not ok! Tell me before so that I can put you on the toilet and you can take a proper poop. Telling me you booboo’d after the fact is basically saying “clean this sh*t up mommy,” with a smile. F*ck that!

Yup! Those are the Mommy “Bad Words” in my house. Every time I hear them I end up feeling some type of way, but my love for my son allows me to push through. LOL. Are there any “bad words” in your house? Have something to say about his post. If so let me know in the comments below.

 

*Toodles*

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