The Romance Quandry

Yesterday my husband and I were relaxing on the couch watching a movie, when I just randomly kissed him. The baby was sleep, so our innocent smooch turned into a teenage make-out session. It was fun, sexy, and sweet, until he spoke. What he said wasnt rude or hurtful, but it definitely got me thinking. After we were done he said “we haven’t done that since we were dating.” I was literally shocked. Keep in mind that we have been together for 9 years, and married for almost 4…so when he said this I was definitely taken aback. That got me thinking…had we been lacking in the romance department since getting married? Was it me or was it him? How do I fix this? So in an effort to help myself figure this out…I will share with everyone who reads this (hopefully there are still people who do lol), in order to work things out. Maybe it will even help you too.

We we were dating things were always kind hot and heavy. I mean it comes with the territory of being boyfriend and girlfriend, as well as being young and in college. Everything was fun and sporadic, and the responsibility level was low. (By that I mean in reference to being a student not being irresponsible sexually…neither of us were about that life lol) When we got engaged that just enhanced the hot and heavy. Something about knowing that someone wants you forever is super sexy I guess. And this hot and heaviness carried over into our first years of marriage as well…but now that I think about it, it started to die down around the time that we both got into our careers.

Transitioning from a dating college couple, to a married fresh out of college couple was easy enough…until jobs got in the way. We no longer had the same amount of free time that we once had. We had real life adult responsibilities that we didn’t completely have before such as paying bills and monitoring our time more effectively. There is no being late to work like we were for class on occasion, or just deciding not to go. No we had to get straight to adulting and making responsible choices. In the mist of all this I think we lost a portion of our fire, but not all of it. This was all due to timing and learning how to manage our new reality. Well then two years in…we get pregnant. Yes, this was a joyous thing and we were both excited, if not a little shocked because I was definitively on birth control lol, and thus another romance change was upon us.

Getting pregnant and having a baby changed a lot for us. I am in no ways saying that we didn’t get it on whilst my eggo was preggo, or that we weren’t romantic. We definitely did both, and he made me feel desired and sexy, even when I was accidentally peeing on myself or vomiting due to morning sickness. However once Bubs was here, things changed. We had even more on our plates, even though I wasnt working, and apart of that was the inclusion of me having a c-section. I can honestly say that having the c-section messed up my perception of myself, as I felt as though my body was ruined due to it. I don’t regret having the c-section because it gave me thee most perfect child ever, but it was hard to accept for me as a woman more so than me as a mom. Now that I have had time to talk to other moms my age and older, and deal with this, I realize that my body is not ruined it’s just not what im use to. It’s the same lovely in a different sized/shaped packing…but no matter what I am #sizesexy. 

Through all of theses changes, my husband and I started getting less and less lovey dovey I guess. I mean outside looking in you can see how often we touch each other or give kisses, but it wasnt like when we were dating. when we were dating it was like can’t keep your hands to yourself type stuff. I don’t know if that was because we were younger and more excited about being in a healthy and productive relationship that contributed to this, but now that I am looking back at it…I can see there was a difference. I miss that sh*t too. So in an effort to add some flames to our still burning fire…I have decided that I want to date my husband. Yup you read that right. I want to date my husband.

What this means is that I am going to use every opportunity that is available to me to kiss and low-key molest him in public lol. I will not worry about if the baby is awake or asleep, I will just make sure he can’t see the super inappropriate stuff. I can no longer let other outside factors interfere with my relationship like this. It isn’t that its bad, but i have come to realize that I have neglected my own libido…and that’s not f*ckin cool at all. I will now make a conscious effort to not always think with mom brain or adult brain, and just allow myself to think with my lower lady lips more often. Whats wrong with letting the love below lead you every once and awhile? Especially if it’s with your husband or significant other. You don’t have to pass the cookie around to use the jar if ya know what i mean. lol. 

Have you realized that your love life has lost some of its sizzle? Wanna talk about it? Feel free to leave it in the comments below.



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