Storytime: My Lady Stalker

So today I am gonna share a little story about my life with everyone. According to my younger cousin, the crazy sh*t that happens to me is funny…but the life lessons I’ve learned from said crazy sh*t is amazing. Well all my lovely readers (assuming I have readers like that, you guys can be the judge of that when I tell you this story. Oh and this story came up today because a coworker and I jokingly mentioned stalkers…and it made me think of my former one lol.

Ok so back when I was in college, I met this girl in my Photo40 class, and we became friendly. (Oh and for the sake of this story…we will call her Fi.) So Fi and I became friendly, as we saw each other at least 3-4 times a week during class and lab hours. Coincidentally, she and I had a connection to one another. Her mom and my grandparents were friends. (No she wasnt older than me, she was being raised by her grandmother who was her mom) So that common link had us on the road to becoming fast friends.

Fast forward to about halfway through the semester. Fi and I had a project to do, and so to save time and money, we went out to take photos together, when I didn’t have to work. I would go over to her apartment and she would drive from there. She came to my apartment a time or two, but she lived alone and I lived with my then boyfriend (now husband), so it made more sense to invade her space instead of mine. Now of course after being introduced to someones space, and kicking it outside of school, we can safely say that we are new friends.

We would hang out, go to the mall, do our individual projects to build our portfolios, and just be young and free. However, she had no job, and I had two. I was working at a dance studio teaching hip-hop, jazz, and ballet, and I also worked PT at GNC. And I also had other closer friends, of whom I am still friends with, that I would hang out with as well. That being said…she didn’t really spend that much time with me. Not like my other real friends were at least.

Well one day I was on the phone with her and we were just shooting the sh*t, and she asked me what I was doing. I told her that I was cooking some chicken alfredo for me and my man’s dinner. She told me that sounded good, and then changed the subject. About a day or two later, she was chatting with me at school, and casually asked me why I “didn’t offer her any food the other day,” when she and I were on the phone. Ummmm…confuse me? You have never put food in my mouth nor are you my responsibility to feed.  I have myself and a MAN to feed…this ain’t no soup kitchen boo…feed ya damn self girl!! That should have been my first red flag that the b*tch was two walls short of a room.

So after that little moment, I was kinda coo off her because that was just too stupid for my tastes. I barely spoke to her and because our class was over by this time, I didn’t have to see her. One day I was at work when I got a phone call with some bad news. (It turned out that the bad news wasn’t really bad news in the end…so yay to that). Well during the mist of me having a COMPLETE emotional f*ckin breakdown at work, she called me. Of course I didn’t answer, because my co-worker (bless her heart) was trying to console me while talking to my husband (then bf) on the phone to come and get me.

So my husband comes and gets me, and takes me back to our apartment. I am a mess, he is trying to console me, and my phone is ringing in my backpack like crazy. Of course, assuming that if it’s someone in my family regarding this bad news, I wasnt worried about it because they would just call my man. So after I finally calmed down enough to look at my phone, I was f*ckin shocked. I swear I will never forget seeing this sh*t on my phone screen. Fi had called me 16 times in a row, texted me 21 times, and left 7 voice messages! What in the entire f*ck.

As I was reading the text messages she was progressively getting more aggressive/crazy. Asking me sh*t like why am I ignoring her, why can’t I just pick up the phone, she just wants to talk, and all kinds of other crazy shit. As I was reading through the texts with my husband, in disbelief, he goes “damn…you would think she yo man.” That is exactly how she was acting! She was talking to me like we were in a f*ckin relationship. In her voicemail’s…her crazy really had a chance to shine. She was talking bout she hasn’t done anything to me for her to deserve this, and that she “just wants me back.” Ummmmm no ho! You can’t have something back that was never yours in the first f*ckin place. She even took it as far as to get angry at me…for “making” her act like this. How the hell is it my fault that your batsh*t crazy? Oh and she even did the angry black girl clap…on my voicemail lol. (Sidenote: For those of you who don’t know, the ABGC is when a black woman claps after every word she says to punctuate how pissed she is)

By this time she is in full blocked mode on my phone, so she then proceeded to contact me on facebook…and contact my man. Needless to say she got blocked on there too. Crazy b*tch. It got to the point where she was going out of her way, and walking all the way across campus, just to see if she could see/talk to me. Obviously I avoided her ass like the plague, and went out of my way to NOT run into her…EVER. During this whole time she never stopped calling or texting me, and I would get all the blocked message notifications each time she did. Eventually, after like 2 months, she stopped.

Now I will be the first person to tell you that I think I am pretty great…but I am not that f*cking great. She really got it in her head somehow that she and I were a couple. I’m all for you loving the ladies…but this ain’t the lady you need to be loving lol. I never gave you any suggestion that I may be into you or want you. You met my man for f*cks sake! One day, after I was married, I ran into her in a store. I was with a friend and when I saw her I was like girl let’s get the f*ck outta here before crazy sees me. Of course my friend had heard the story, so she laughed and said ok. On our way out the door we heard ‘ol girl RUNNING to the front of the store. As I was getting in the car, she yelled out my name, said hi, and told me she missed me. I casually waved and got in the car and pulled the f*ck off.

So yea…that’s my Storytime for today. Can you believe that crazy sh*t? I swear I have never in my life experienced someone else’s crazy that was that pure lol. Has anyone ever showered you in crazy like Fi did me? And what do you think of my Storytime? Leave it in the comments below.



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