Wife Wednesday: Husband Appreciation

My husband is a lot of things, but the main thing he is awesome. Yea he does some things that make me contemplate “how to get away with murder” sometimes, but all in all, he is a really amazing man. 

Yesterday I wasnt feeling good, and instead of trying to share the workload of parenting with me, he just let me rest. I literally went to bed at 830pm and woke up at 530 am, because I was just that tired and not feeling well. This means that for one night, my husband was daddy and mommy.

That may not seem like a big deal to some, but in my household it is. There are certain things that my husband rarely does for the baby, as it’s just something I handle. However last night he did all the little things that i normally do, but the beauty of this was that it wasnt done because I wasnt home. No…I was there, and he just took it upon himself to handle and let me rest. 

It was f*ckin awesome. I know my hubs loves me, and I love him too, but doing that one little thing…that made all the difference in the world. I was able to function today because he allowed me to rest and get feeling better. Granted, I am not 100%, but I am at a solid 78% which is far better than I was. But the best part of his thoughtfulness…he wore a mouth guard to bed last night (which means no snoring), and when the baby woke up in the middle of the night…he didn’t bring him in our bed! He actually stayed in the room and put him back to sleep like a normal human being! It was amazing!

So yea…kudos to my amazing husband for always having my back. I appreciate him so much and love him to pieces…even if sometimes I wanna throat punch the sh*t out of him lol.


November Sucks

So obviously November has been a month of little to no action on my blog. That’s because I have had everything and nothing going on at once. Doesn’t make sense? Trust me it does.

This month has been the longest month of my mommy and wife life. I swear that everything that could go wrong this month has gone wrong. From my baby being sick, to my work schedule being slightly inconvenient with the Turkey day holiday, to me getting no sleep…this month has SUCKED!

Now if you read my last blog, you know all about my baby being sick. It was scary as hell, and hard to deal with because all he wanted was mommy all day everyday. That alone made it tiring for me because anytime i was in his presence, no one could touch him besides me. If you’re a mom I’m sure you know how having a 27lb little human hanging off your leg can be.

As for work, I absolutely love my job, and the people I work with are super cool. But the week of Turkey Day was super hard for me. On top of working, I had to plan for our “friendsgiving” that my husband scheduled. Working a full on Wednesday, and then having to come home and cook….f*ckin sucked. I was exhausted and in all honesty didn’t feel like having any company when I got home. Thankfully it was super nice and I enjoyed myself thoroughly, but that didn’t change the fact that I could have went home and had a beer and a nap. LOL.

Now for being tired. My husband has been snoring like he is trying to suck the f*cking studs out of the walls. Omg I promise you I have felt like smothering him in his sleep on more than one night. And add to the equation my son has decided that he no longer wants to sleep through the night…in his bed. So of course he calls my husband who gets up and brings his little butt into our room and bed. Then he proceeds to start-up his sleep assassin routine, and it ONLY is against me. I don’t know what the hell it is about my husband and his side of the bed, but the baby doesn’t want to sleep or fight over there. Only on my damn side! That’s such bullsh*t! Oh and if you’re wondering, yes this has been going on all month..it has. 

So that has been November in a nutshell. I need a complete break from this month, and a long ass nap. I’m hoping that now that this month is practically over, that I will have time to post more frequently. Oh and if anyone has any idea on how to retrain a 1 and a half-year old to not only sleep through the night, but stay in his own damn bed…please feel free to leave it in the comments below. I’m desperate.




Friday-Sunday: In Sickness and in Hell

Heads up! This is gonna be a long one folks! 

My weekend was a mess. My husband and my baby were sick, from Thursday till now, and I’m trying to fight off getting sick. I am literally on a daily cocktail of 1 pack of emergen-c in the morning, a cup of theraflu daytime, green tea and honey through the day, and a pack of theraflu nighttime in the evening. I refuse to be sick while their sick….it would make it harder to take care of everyone.

Now yes them both being sick is rough, esp my husband because he gets real irritable when he’s sick (like I did it to him or something lol. Trust me sweetheart…I would NEVER choose for you to be sick. I don’t need to have two babies in the house lol. But back to the story of my weekend). So with his irritability, and the babies on and off irritability…it was a mad house. I of course still had to go to work while they were at home trying to nurse themselves back to health. But as it seemed they were both getting better, my baby took a turn for the worse. 

On Saturday afternoon he had a fever of 102.8. Yes that is high, so I gave him a cool bath (which my poor baby he screamed the entire time during), did the alternating medicines, and let him walk around the house in just his diaper. Unfortunately this didn’t help at all. He still had a fever, and it never broke under 100.2. So of course I was worried, but I was sure that on Sunday, it would break and everything would be OK. I was wrong.

The entire time he has the fevers, it floated in between 100.2 and 102. The highest being the 102.8 on Saturday afternoon. His appetite was fine, he was using the bathroom normal, and he was still my little goofy butt baby…if not a little fussy at times. On Sunday afternoon this all changed. He was extremely fussy, and only wanted to be held by me or my husband, did want to play, and after a while, just laid around and kept falling asleep. Of course this worried me, so I took his temp (103.1) and called the advice nurse. She told me that at his age that wasnt a worrisome fever, and to not give a cool bath anymore. (Sidenote: apparently cool baths are no longer advised as it does not lower the core body temperature due to the child feeling cold and shivering. the shivers raise the body temp even higher and therefore cool baths are not something we should to anymore.)

After the call to the advice nurse, which of course she told me to call back if anything changed and what not, my little guy went down for his nap. We left him in just his diaper and turned the ceiling fan on his room to help keep him cool. When he woke up, he was extremely fussy and lethargic, and only wanted to be held. My husband took his temp and it was 104.7! We immediately started getting dressed to go to the ER. On our way I called the advice nurse again, so that she could give the ER a heads up that we were on our way. When we got there we only had to wait about 5 minutes to be seen.  

Once in the triage area, we found out that his temp had dropped to 104, because we rode with the windows down all the way there, and that the doctor would be in within 5 minutes to speak with us. He was there in 3. Thankfully babies are priority in the ER. When he examined my little dude we found out that he had red ear (but not an ear infection), and a severely sore throat (but not strep). He then prescribed prescription grade baby ibuprofen and Tylenol. We waited there for about 2 hours, and then my happy little baby came back to me. The lethargic fuss bucket that he once was gone, and my son was himself again…with a temperature of 99.6. 

After being discharged and picking up his prescription along with the special dosing and instructions (because he has a tolerance for meds like his mommy and therefore has to have special stuff lol) we went to target to get him some snacks, and then home. He woke up this morning with a fever of 99.4 (worlds better than what he once was) and singing “wheels on the bus” to my husband and I. Of course he’s still at home with daddy today, because he can go to school yet, but as long as he is my happy baby again, and not with a dangerously high fever, im happy.

To say that yesterday was one of thee most stressful days of my mommy life was an understatement. I was freaked the f*ck out and worried to death that something was wrong with my baby. Thankfully I was able to stay calm and not have a mental and emotional break down, even though I was dangerously close to both, and get things done. I can definitely say that the hospital did a great job of fixing my baby and making sure we were all OK…but I never want to have this sh*t happen again. I’d be a damn alcoholic if it did, because I definitely went home and had me a shot of whiskey.

So yea. that was my weekend in “Sickness and in Hell,” and was f*ckin horrible. I pray no mom every has to go through something like this , but if they do…that they have a great husband and medical team to help like I did.

P.S…F*ck im tired! And I could still use another drink lol.



Woman Wednesday: Lady Guilt

Forgot to post this yesterday lol.

Wife Wednesday is back! Today’s topic is Lady Guilt. And yes I said “lady” and not “mommy” guilt. That’s because as women we are always feeling guilty for stupid ass f*cking reasons. And of course none of those reasons ever are actually valid. Let me give a little list of some of the things that I feel stupidly guilty for.

  • Sleeping late. Yup. I feel guilty for sleeping in late. Crazy right? Nevermind that I was up when the baby got up, and didn’t go back to sleep until after he was sleep for 20 minutes or more. Oh and please don’t think that my husband didn’t help. He “helped” by going to get the baby and bring him in our bed…and then went right the f*ck back to sleep. *insert side eye here* So after all of this “help” I am tired as hell, and sometimes sleep in…and I have the nerve to feel guilty. Like I have somehow wronged my husband and son by being so damn tired from running my household that i had the audacity to sleep. Seriously…wtf?
  • Not Cleaning. Stupid right? I mean why should i feel guilty for NOT cleaning my entire house when there is another adult living there? The answer to that is I shouldn’t…but I do. I mean how crazy would it be to have my husband help with more than one chore around the house? It’s not like he’s incapable. I have seen him clean…with my own two eyes and everything. Honest I have. But the crazy part of all this is that I feel guilty because in some crazy ass world I have talked myself into believing that I have to clean if I want it done right. Honestly…maybe the wrong way is ok sometimes.
  • Not Cooking. Who in the f*ck suggested that mommy/wife cooks a meal every night? If I ever find out who did…I’m gonna cut them! The last thing I want to do after a long day of being a mom and wife who works is cook. Standing in front of the stove for hours does not sounds appealing. I’m tired, I need a shower, I want a drink, and I am hungry but don’t want to be bothered with making food. Oh and lets not talk about how you asked your honey to take something out the freezer…and they didn’t! This makes you just want to yell “SON OF A B*TCH” at the top of your lungs as soon as you see that sh*t. Like how hard is it to put something in the sink to defrost?! Obviously its like performing brain surgery. But back to my guilt over not cooking. I feel guilty and like I’ve let down my family…and we’re all gonna die of starvation and malnutrition. All of this because I didn’t cook. #F*CKERY
  • Being Pissed. This has got to be the number one things that I hate that we as women feel guilty about. Why is that when we are pissed, whether it be rightfully so or in some batsh*t crazy capacity, that we feel guilty for being pissed? Clearly whatever happened to get us angry is not our fault…but we end up feeling guilty because of it. If you’re wondering what i mean by feeling guilty for being pissed…think about the last time you were pissed. Did you ask yourself “why am i even mad,” or tell yourself “I need to just calm down” ? The answer to that is yes…you dfid. This isn’t you being rational either, because if you were being rational you would have never got pissed in the first damn place. No this is your woman brain telling you that you need not be angry because on some level you know it’s not “lady like.” Well to that i say kiss my sweet buns! I am tired of being mad about being mad. Let me live in my anger damnit! LMAO. We shouldn’t feel guilty or bad about being angry ladies. We should accept the fact that sometimes everyone else in the world has no sense, and we’re right. If women spent less time talking themselves out of being angry and just let the anger ride…I bet we’d be a lot more pleasant.

Well there you have it folks. Those are my top four things that I hate having Lady Guilt over. It may sounds crazy, or like I’ve over analyzed this, but the truth is…im right and you know it lol.

What are some of the things that you have Lady Guilt over? Leave your answers in the comments below.



Freaky Friday: The Inconvenient Libido

Freaky Friday is finally back! I have really been slacking in getting up posts…but life is busy and sitting in front of any computer screen is just not possible most days. But…today…I have time. So let’s get to it.

Women are so unlucky when it comes to sex. Yes! I said it. We do have the power of the p*ssy…but the power of the libido is not something we have. If this isn’t making sense you have to really sit back and think about what we as women go through. All women have sex drives, some have higher ones than others, but either way we have them. However, we tend to have higher sex drives at the most inconvenient freaking times.

I’m not talking inconvenient times like how men want to get busy at 3 in the f*ckin morning either. No, I’m talking about wanting sex more when T.O.M. is in town, or wanting it when your man is out-of-town. That is so damn crazy to me. Like what in our bodies decides when to let us get horny. And why does it always have to happen when we are in no real position to handle it. Oh and I know that some of you like to play hide the sausage during that time, but I don’t subscribe to crime scene weekly…which means I don’t have sex during my lady time.

Aside from being super horny when your on your monthly,  if I’m really being honest, women tend to want sex the same if not more than men do. This can cause a problem too. When women get randy in the pants its something to behold. For us it’s not about the wam-bam thank you ma’am…and it’s not about the intimacy either. I know everyone seems to think that it is…but it isn’t. stop with that lie. sometimes we just want to get down and dirty. And during these times of outrageous horniness…if we don’t get what we want…we turn into she-demons.

Men. Have you ever not gave your woman some when she was hinting at the fact that she was horny and she was suddenly meant as hell to you? Well first let me tell you that you deserved it. How dare you not give her the goodies when she had a clear sweet tooth. Get your life! But I digress. Women get mean we are left unsatisfied. I mean after all we do during the day maintaining households and kids and jobs, the least we could get is some nookie when we want! Dont deny us damnit! But of course with The Inconvenient Libido…we rarely get what we want when we want because something else always comes up.

The moral of this post is that women deserve sex whenever and however we want. we already have to fight our own damn libidos and bodies…dont make us fight you.



G.B.T.S Update

Ok so if you read my post on how I was “Getting Back To Sexy,” and I am here to update you on that. It is not going well. LOL. I can honestly say that I have tried to do it, but at the same time I haven’t tried. It is a very complicated endeavor and I ended up having an epiphany because of it. First let me explain to you why it hasn’t been working out.

Working, Wifing, Womaning, and Moming is tiring as f*ck! I mean if it’s not one thing, it’s another. I mean I don’t have time to worry about working out when I’m just trying to not fall asleep at work or the wheel or while watching my kid. And those women who do have time do all of that and still work out…youre the sh*t! I mean you must have the secret to never-ending energy…which I don’t have…but I need it. I feel like if I try to add-on extra energy sucking activity…I may just keel over and die.

Now I know some of you “workout mamas” may think that im just complaining and need to get over myself. To that I say…BLEH! I can complain all I f*ckin want! It’s not like I have ever had the need to workout prior to having my little love lump. Now that I do…things have changed sooooo much. It’s not as easy, and I swear I don’t want to even be bothered. That makes the struggle so real. I swear my motivation is crazy lacking, but when I do have it, I try to work out. Now on to my revelation.

When trying to workout, I came to realize two things. Those things are:

  1. I hate working out. 
  2. I’m f*cking perfect the way I am!!!!!’

I looked at myself in the mirror the other day and I realized somethings.

  1. My hips are curvy
  2. My boobs are perky
  3. My legs are thick
  4. My ass is nice and round
  5. My skin is clear
  6. My smile is beautiful
  7. And my eyes have life in them (even if I do have the occasional bags under them lol)

Pretty much what I’m saying is that I am f*cking GORGEOUS! Yes there are some imperfections on my body and things that I want to fix…but at the end of the day, I am still a woman. A desirableness woman at that. I mean as long as my husband isn’t complaining and still trying to get me in between the sheets. I am A-OK. Who the f*ck cares if I don’t look like what i use to?! I birthed me a baby after-all.

Yes I will still try to lose some weight, and yes I will still try and tone up my stomach, but at the end of the day, I have a different body. The body of a woman an mother…not a girl. I refuse to conform to anyone’s standard of beauty but my own! I look good as I am in all my thickness, and I am STILL killing the SEXY game. Having a baby and gaining some extra weight has not stopped me from being attractive to my husband and other people. It has only stopped me from being attractive to myself. My view of myself was the problem from the beginning, not my body, and I have fixed it.

I am happy with who I am, and know that I will have good days and bad days, but I’d rather be me any day that some fake Barbie looking replica b*tch that a lot of women are trying to look like these days. So…pretty much what I have to say to anyone who is reading this and having issues with their appearance…STOP IT! Big or Fat, Small or Skinny…worship your f*cking body…it’s the only one you’ve got!

What are some things you like about your body? Leave it in the comments below.