Yup. The time has finally come. we’re going to talk about T.O.M (time of month). I have soooo much to say about this topic. So let’s get right to it.

I honestly have a love/hate relationship with my T.O.M. I love when it comes, because it ensures me that there are no babies brewing in my brewery, and I hate it…for many reasons. The main reason not even being that I am shedding the lining of my uterus. No, I hate it because during the whole time, 5-7 days, I NEVER feel clean! As a woman, feeling like we aren’t clean is the worst feeling¬†EVER. So you can only imagine, if you’re not a woman who is, what feeling dirty for a whole f*ckin week can do to you mental state. Due to this, I really feel like PMS isn’t what people claim it is. Our hormones are not imbalanced to the point of partial psychosis, and we are not moody. P.M.S stands for Provisional Messy State.

When you are in your Provisional Messy State you don’t give a f*ck about anything or anyone. Everything in your life, at the moment, is completely and utterly f*cked up. Your clothes don’t fit, you feel dirty, your skin and hair are all jacked, and you are literally always or never hungry. And we won’t even get into the aches and pains. #KillMeNow Yes, this is only a temporary state of being, and it is awful. No matter what we do, or how good we look, the picture just never completely comes together for us. We are indeed a MESS during the T.O.M.

To add to this mess, there is not a woman in history who starts her cycle and thinks “let me cook and clean.” *insert blank face then eye roll here* No. We want to sit at home on the couch, ignore all cleaning duties, and eat anything that doesn’t involve the stove or oven. What does this lead to? That’s right you guessed it, a messy ass house. So now we are a physical mess, a partial mental mess (because being physically gross drives us crazy), and now the house has the audacity not to clean itself. It sucks major salty balls. Oh and don’t think we just sit there and accept the messiness that it our homes. Nope, that would be too much like right. To add to our mental messiness, we are constantly going over what needs to be done in the house. I’m sure every woman ever has looked at her house on her cycle and thought:

  • “Ugh…I wish I had a maid.”
  • “Nah, I should just get up and clean this sh*t up myself.”
  • “Nope! I don’t feel like it and I’m finally comfortable so f*ck it, I’ll do it later.”
  • “I’m just gonna take a nap, and maybe get a snack when I wake up.”

Am I right? I am more than positive that I am. And if you are one of those women who do like to cook and clean when T.O.M’s in town…kudos to you. You’re the real MVP.

Men have it easy because they don’t have to go through all of this. Yes they have to deal with us when we do, but you can not compare living it to watching it. Sh*t just doesn’t add up.

Do you agree with my definition of P.M.S? If so/not let me know in the comments below.




2 thoughts on “P.M.S.

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  2. Yes I agree with you 1000%. But still, what mammal on Gods green earth can be a Bloody Crime Scene (BCS) for 5-7 days and come out alive every month is the Sh*t. Now let a man pull that off. His crazy a*s will be bat sh*t crazy, black from gaingreen(sp?), blind, deaf, and dumb, no hair, eyes popping out, rotten teeth. And would still be saying some sh*t like, “Baby can you hand me the remote control and fix and bring me my dinner! ”
    But you just whisper in his ear,”where and what did you do for me last week when I had my Bloody Crime Scene (BCS). Guess what, ” I will survive”! What about you!


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