Inside the Mind of Ashley

Do you ever look around your house and think “f*ck this place is a mess,” but don’t get up to clean? Well I do. Lol. I have come to realize that there are days/weeks, when I just don’t feel like being bothered with anything…esp housework. Those are the times when crawling into bed or a bottle (of alcohol) with a movie and snacks sounds like a fun night. Now this may be just a woman thing, now that i think of it lol, but I’m sure there are some men who can relate to it to. But yea…I’ve decided to list all the things that I honestly hate doing or just plain don’t do…and my thoughts on each. Hopefully doing this will motivate me to do them…or at least someone else will make me feel less crazy because they’re just like me lol. Enjoy.

  1. Folding and putting away clothes (hate doing)
    1. “Why do I even wear clothes, and do I really need this many?” 
    2. “I’ll fold them when I’m less tired/after…”
    3. “Man f*ck these clothes! I’m not folding sh*t. If my husband doesn’t do it why should I?”
  2. Cleaning the kitchen (hate doing)
    1. “Why don’t kitchens clean themselves?”
    2. “Did my husband INTENTIONALLY make this much of a mess?”
    3. “Washing dishes are gross…so leave it to the hubs”
    4. “Damn I wish I could just throw these dishes away and get new ones instead of washing them.”
  3. Cleaning the bathroom (hate doing)
    1. “Who the f*ck keeps pissing on the floor?! The baby is still in diapers so that only leaves one person! *Looks at husband evilly*
    2. “Ima be pissed if I get bleach on my clothes”
    3. “The bathroom isn’t clean until my nose is burning from the fumes and everything is shining”
    4. “One of these days I’m just gonna stop cleaning this sh*t and see what happens.” *I tried that once and almost had a panic attack lol*
  4. Mopping (hate doing)
    1. “Why do I even bother when both these punks are gonna come in here and spill something on the floor as soon as I’m done?”
    2. “Is that sh*t? I swear if it’s sh*t I’m killing the dog.”
    3. “Okay it’s not sh*t…but what the hell is it?” *shivers violently while trying not to barf*
  5. Vacuuming (love doing, hate why I have to)
    1. “CRUUUUUUMMMMMBBBBBBSSSS!!!!!!”
    2. “Do they put any food in their damn mouths?”
    3. “That’s it! i’m shaving the f*ckin dog bald if I find one more clump of hair”
    4. “I’m gonna burn the f*ckin house down if  find one more I crumb after I JUST vacuumed!
  6. Walking the Dog (don’t do)
    1. “He’s 80lbs. That’s like me picking up my own sh*t! #hellno”
    2. “He doesn’t want to poop in the back yard? Well then i guess he’s gonna be out there until he does. Better run back and forth and pretend he’s on a walk.”
  7. Getting up after FINALLY sitting down (hate doing)
    1. “Why must you need something?”
    2. “Can’t you do it?”
    3. “Next person who asks mommy for a favor is getting locked in the closet”
  8. Cooking dinner after work (hate doing)
    1. “Do they really need to eat?’
    2. “I wonder if we have leftovers”
    3. “How many times have we had takeout this week?”
    4. “Why can’t he cook…without complaining?” 
  9. Late night baby tending (hate doing)
    1. “Maybe if I don’t breathe move or blink…he’ll go back to bed” *turns on light in his room and says mama*
    2. “My husband can get him” *pretends to snore*
    3. “Let me get up and get him because I’m not trying to hear my husbands mouth later. Yea you’re tired…but so am I. There is no f*ckin tiredopoly!”
  10. Using the bathroom uninterrupted (don’t do)
    1. “Can I go in peace?”
    2. “There is no need to ask me 9 million f*ckin questions right now…it can wait!”
    3. “What are they doing? Why is so quiet?” *gets up before finished to go investigate, then waits another hour to be able to finish*

Well…there you have it folks! Those are my top ten things I hate/don’t do when it comes to my home…and the thoughts I have behind them. I hope that some of you are like me too. If you’re not…youre probably a maid. Lmao.

What are some of the things you hate doing/don’t do around your house? Leave them in the comments below.

 

*Toodles*

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