The other day I was thinking in some spare time (aka hiding in the bathroom pretending to use it for a moment of peace lol) about relationships. If you’re a regular here, you know that I’m married. If you’re new here…well now you know lol. So my thoughts about relationships were how women are viewed. To me, it feels like there are a plethora of things that people believe about women in general, especially once you become a mom and a wife, and sometimes it can get overwhelming. I truly think that what others believe…can sometimes lead us women to partial madness and it’s not f*ckin fair! In the spirit of sharing, I will talk about the #1 thing that pisses me off, when it comes to others beliefs about women and our relationships.
Are you married or in a serious committed relationship? Do you want to be? Well please listen to what I have to say about relationships and womanhood. When you are in a relationship people automatically stop viewing you as an individual. Please note that I said you, and not Y’all. Your spouse (esp if it’s a man) is still an individual, but you somehow you morph into a part of him. I can’t say that I am sure why this is, but I can say that it is pretty damn obvious at times. The most obvious of times being when you want to make plans or you’re going out.
Going out with or without your spouse is something that everyone should do. It’s fun with them, and its fun without them, depending on the situation. And let’s be honest, we all need a break from our spouse every now and then. If you dont…your probably bat sh*t crazy and should get your head checked out lol. As a woman, have you ever noticed that when you tell someone you’re going out they either ask you one of the following things:
- “OMG! You can come?”
- “Is your man/woman cool with it?”
- “Are you gonna bring them too?”
- “How long can you stay out?”
- “Are you sure you wanna go?”
All of these statements have one thing in common…PERMISSION!! When the f*ck did I start aging backyards and turn into a child again?! Better yet when the f*ck did my man become my mama?! The answer is I DIDN’T and he DIDN’T! I don’t need my man to be there with me, nor do I need him to greenlight ANYTHING I do! My vagina doesn’t make me weak and in need of decisions making help. It makes me mighty. Why does it make me mighty? Because the love below (aka your southern lady lips) is the only force in the world that can bleed, stretch, snapback, grow something, be strong and sexy at the same time, and entice people to wanna play with it…all without effort or complaint. #P*ssyPower
But let’s flip this scenario, and look at it as if we were a man. When your man goes out…that’s it. No one asks him anything, questions if it’s cool with you (unless your crazy and Y’all have a few problems), and it’s just assumed that all is well and ok. Wtf!?!!? How is that even remotely fair? I get questioned to no end as a woman, but as a man, my husband is just free to do as he pleases no muss no fuss. That’s some sexist double standard misogynistic f*ckery…and society has created it.
So basically in a nutshell what people are telling us, women, is that we are to allow ourselves to be absorbed into our relationships. We can’t do things without some sort of twisted permission from our partners, and if we do that we are a “good woman.” Again I say that’s bullsh*t!!!! My husband consults me on his outings just like I consult him. Neither of us is seeking permission, but rather making sure there’s someone to stay with our kid!!! It was like this before we had kids, and it’ll stay this way!
Women do not have to allow ourselves to be absorbed into our relationships so much so that other people think they need to backcheck our whereabouts. Just STOP it!!!! We were individuals before our relationships…and guess what…we will be individuals during and in some cases after our relationships. Being a couple does not and should not define who you are as a person. Yes, some women allow that or even condone it, but I feel as though it’s more so a societal norm that they are trying to satisfy, versus an actual preference. Well NOT ME! I am happy to be me just as happy as I am to be with my man, and I can do both without losing myself.
Do u agree or disagree with this post? Wanna add some thought and opinions. Feel free to leave it in the comments below.
*Huggies & Hi-Fives*